1. Ella continues to impress in the sleep department.  We've had several nights where she slept through (or cried minimally such that we didn't go in) and every other night since the sleep training began has involved me getting up no more than once to get her back to sleep.  Although I feel like I've gotten a new lease on life, the pessimist in me is just waiting for this heaven to come to a screeching halt.

2. Ella also took her first steps this week.  Not that we saw them, of course... she took two steps in between two of her teachers at school on Thursday.  Since then, she continues to tease us with a step here and a step there, but nothing that makes me officially want to declare her "a walker".  Sophia is incredibly anxious and cheers Ella on when I hold both her hands and encourage her to walk.  Sophia says that she wants to hold Ella's hand once she starts walking... of course, I imagine Ella falling as a result and being drug down the hallway by an oblivious Sophia, so we'll see how that sisterly-love thing works out.

3. The battle of the doot-doots continues to be lost on a daily basis (I've actually given up that fight and let the little hippie child just run around with her free-flowing hair), but for some reason Esen got her to agree to a pony-tail today... apparently in exchange for some tough love for himself.  He hadn't even been drinking, so I'm still amazed that he allowed this to happen.

If there's any doubt in your mind as to where Sophia got that cold, hard stare, check out the very next picture I took:

Maybe his doot-doots were too tight??

4. I was looking for something new and fun to do with the girls this weekend and I decided to set up the tent in the back yard.  It was a big hit and we enjoyed a (pretend) picnic lunch out there.  I asked Sophia if she wanted to sleep out there with me tonight and she replied, "No mama.  I sleep in my bed."  (There was definitely an implied "duh" at the end of her sentence.)


This was a nice way to let Ella down outside, which is something we struggle with because the patio is concrete (tough on the knees) and the lawn has Suzy-poo lurking around even though we try to pick it all up.  Ella was fascinated by the zipper on the screen door, which annoyed the hell out of Sophia (who wanted it CLOSED, ELLA!).

But my favorite picture of the angels by a mile is this little gem.  Although I did ask them to smile for me as I stepped outside the tent to take a picture, Sophia's hug was her own doing... she sure does adore her baby sister.

July 29, 2009:  Ella sleeps from 8pm - 5am
I declare this the first official night of sleep in more than 10 months.  I felt amazing this morning, until about 10am when I realized that one little ol' night of sleep (I mean, I only slept for about 6 of those hours after all) only put a dent in my total sleep deficit.

It took two totally unfun nights of gentle sleep training and she will most certainly revert to her wakeful ways before this becomes a nightly ritual that I count on, but right now I am happy to celebrate the little victory.  Even if the next tooth or the next cold set us back to square one, I now have faith that we all have some glorious sleep-filled nights in our future.

I tried to capture some pink pig pics two days in a row and little-miss-mobility has only gone along with my plan minimally.  Yet, I finally got her to sit still long enough to snap a quick shot:


I was so busy trying to get her to smile (while simultaneously keeping Sophia out of the shot) that I cut off her head in what would have clearly been the best picture!  Bummed, but at least you can still see her sweet smile.  She was in a good mood this morning!


That good mood was no accident... Ella has recently survived some harrowing times!  At 9 months, her two bottom teeth came in SIMULTANEOUSLY.  At 10 months, her two top teeth came in SIMULTANEOUSLY.  Let's just say that we've had a few difficult nights, but I'm hopeful the worst is behind us (for now).  I tried to get a picture of those fabulous teeth, but it was bordering on child abuse, so this is the best I can offer you:

Looks like there's going to be a nice big space between those two top teeth, so I'm a little concerned that Ella's cute factor is going to take a direct hit.  Oh well.  With Sophia wearing her hair in a quasi-mullet and Ella sporting some big buck teeth, I guess we'll just embrace our inner-redneck for a while.  Have a good weekend, y'all.

"Mama, I sleeping!" (and not even Ella could disrupt this end-of-the-day faux nap)


Girls in Green


Girls in Orange (color coding makes them easier to find)


Double-Take (c'mon... it's her BIG TOE!!)


Tantrum Reducer (helping so far I think)


Yogurt Fun


Bathing Beauty (enjoying the freedom of NO DIAPER)


Starlet in the Making (one of her teachers has declared that Sophia has the Marlo Thomas flip)


Bird Call (finally Ella's bird noise is captured on film!)
  

Brahms Lullaby (Sophia style with Jumparoo accompaniment and surprise ending)
  

Summertime Pleasures (that encourage teeth brushing!)
  

Free Style (standing, that is... watch her LET GO! Count down to walking is on!)
 

Thank you to those who reached out to me after my last post and said kind things.  I needed it.  I didn't quite realize that I was asking for it, but thanks for recognizing my needs when even I didn't.  True to form, I've sought out some books to help give me perspective on the current state of things (along with the advice of some friends who have - or have recently survived having - young kids).  A few chapters into a book on "raising a spirited child," I'm already feeling better.  I suppose I could bore with some of the details about how it helps to think of your kid's traits in positive terms instead of negative ("determined" rather than "stubborn" and "spirited" instead of "satanic"), but really the AHA! moment came for me when the book talked about how kids basically live up to the expectations we set for them.  Thus, if I face each morning with dread about how my stubborn Sophia is going to fight me over brushing teeth / getting dressed / you-name-it, then chances are she will.  If, instead, I embrace her determination by applying the house rules and not getting all riled up, then perhaps she will eventually calm down without losing that sense of determination that will surely serve her well as she gets older.  This is a nice way to look at things... a pragmatic, embrace-the-good approach that I hope I can implement.

The other nice suggestion that came out of the book is a little exercise I will do here on the blog in this post.  The instructions are to gather some of my favorite pictures of Sophia (I suppose I could do this with Ella, too, but perhaps I wait until some point when she drives me crazy) and think about why I like these particular pictures.  The point of the exercise is to explore what it is about a set of pictures that speaks to us and that those characteristics really get at the heart of how we view and feel about our kids... a look in their eye, a smirk on their face, their reaction to something.  What's interesting to me is that, when posed with this exercise, I immediately gravitated toward 3 or 4 of the pictures below in my mind... it's truly amazing how a handful of pictures seem to really capture the qualities that I love most in Sophia.  I suspect that some of you would be able to do this exercise with similar ease.  So, here you go... a mama's view of her first-born in a nutshell.  Enjoy!

The first photo I thought of is a very recent one taken by Lulu.  It's Sophia's eyes that grab me.  There's a deepness and darkness and intensity to them in this photo that reminds me of something I feel in myself and fell in love with in Esen.  I think Esen and I are both very introspective and analytical people.  There's a seriousness in Sophia's dark eyes at times that makes me feel like she is the same way.  There are many times when I look at her as she is concentrating on something and feel like she will one day be an exceptionally thoughtful person who carefully thinks before she acts, who will have the ability to convey scorn or sympathy with a simple glance, and who will one day find the love of her life by seeing something similar in the eyes of another.

I also saw all of these things forming in the photo of her below (the second picture I thought of), which was taken more than a year ago already... maybe it was something that I wanted to see or, more likely, something I expected to see because of other aspects of her personality that were already obvious to me.


The next picture I thought of was a series of pictures taken this past Easter as she completed her egg hunt in the back yard.  I had a hard time choosing from among 3-4 different shots, but here's one of her munching on goldfish crackers that were inside the Easter eggs.  I chose this one because there was something transforming about putting her in that little dress.  That day, she was a sweet, feminine little girl.  Her complexion was so rosy and healthy, her mood was a calm happiness, content to enjoy the simple pleasures of the moment... walking around the yard looking for colorful surprises and then enjoying the snacks inside.  She wasn't giddy or overly excited the way you might expect a kid to be about their first treasure hunt... she was just happy and content.  It's a calmness that I rarely feel in myself and that I think Sophia might struggle to find as she grows older.  On this day, she had it in droves. We both did.

God, I miss those doot-doots!

The next picture I chose was originally labeled on the blog as "teenage indifference".  In hindsight, that's not really what I see in this picture.  As I was thinking about Sophia's personality and the pictures that capture those features in my mind, I immediately thought of the photo below because it conveys a vibe that I get from her a lot:  "You don't really impress me, mama."  My attempts to get her to smile or get her excited are met with this expression unless she actually feels smiley or excited.  I don't feel scorn from her in these cases; I think she just doesn't like it when those around her try too hard.  Faux enthusiasm from teachers garners this reaction, too.  I think she'll be one of those people who can see right through a fake... maybe she already can.


I chose this recent picture of the girls playing with Sally and Andrew because it shows Sophia's hand on Ella's back, which brings me to the next Sophia'ism that is undeniable, but that most people don't see:  she has a gentleness that really comes out around Ella.  Although there is the usual rivalry over toys and attention ("NO ELLA!!  NO ELLA!!!"), many times Sophia will gently stroke Ella's back or cheek or rub her fuzzy hair... they are the sweetest gestures.  And while she also likes to give Ella big hugs and kisses, the smaller fleeting gestures of sweet affection and gentleness remind me that Sophia is understated.  There's a quietness about her that is sometimes perceived as shyness (which also describes her in some situations), but I believe the quietness is more reflective of the fact that her true nature is to observe and deliver small doses of personality in an understated way.  Seeing her gracefully stepping into the role of big sister sometimes makes my heart want to explode.


Many times I've heard children described as "quick to smile."  That's not how I would describe Sophia as she tends to almost reserve her smiles.  There are times, however, when she is fed/rested/entertained and just more at ease in a situation, and that's when the sweetness and the smiles are shared freely.  These smiles aren't the goofy forced smiles that we capture so frequently when she says, "Cheese!" as the camera comes out.  There's something more genuine, more warm, more open about the smile I'm talking about, which I see in the picture below (taken after swimming in our back yard).  I think the difference is really subtle so maybe you'll all think I'm nuts, but when I see that smile, I know there's no tantrum in our near future.  It's really, really nice.


I see the same kind of smile in this shot taken in Half Moon Bay.   I wasn't there so I don't know the circumstances (other than she was playing with Ilke and Lulu), but the smile is pure and relaxed and natural.  While I think this sort of smile is what we get out of Ella on a daily basis, Sophia only doles out these real gems on occasion.


The last picture I'll share is another recent photo from the Half Moon Bay trip (taken by babaanne).  I like it because of all the different ways you might interpret the expression on Sophia's face... there's complexity.  I wasn't there when it was taken, so I honestly have no information about the context and no idea what her expression might have been a reaction to.  What I do know is that this look is devilish yet sweet, and it says, "Hey, there's more to me than meets the eye!"  It's like she's content to keep us guessing, which is how I feel multiple times a day when I'm with her.  The look on her face makes me feel like the possibilities are endless... like *SOPHIA* already feels like her possibilities are endless.  That's a comforting thought for me for some reason.


I think maybe the lesson to be had here is that this exercise is more about me than her.  Perhaps the difficulties I've been having lately (in my role as the parent of a toddler) is more about me and my reactions than it is about her and her behavior.  Although I know that it is our job to set up the rules and incentives, enforce them, and just try to love her as she figures things out, I also know that the only thing *I* actually have total control over is myself... my responses and emotions and actions.  For those who have known me longest, you probably know that this - the notion of accepting that all I can really control is the way in which I respond to the things that happen around me - is something I've struggled with many times.  Guess I'm still working on it.  Thanks, Sophia, for giving me another opportunity to work on something I thought I had all figured out.

Yeah, that's me... full of emotional tensions tonight.  A few sips of beer have taken the edge off, but I need to do a little purging to really make some progress.  If you look back at blog posts from when we only had one kid (or perhaps you've been reading that long), you'd notice that I periodically took the time for some introspection, or some analysis of an important decision, or at least some description of the current challenges that were giving me gray hair.  I literally don't have the time for those kinds of posts these days, but that doesn't mean that I miraculously need that sort of catharsis *less*... if anything, I need it so, so, so, so much more. 

I'm feeling so scattered tonight that I fear I might just have to ramble.  Bear with me... maybe it won't be a pile of crap when all is said and done.  But, if it is a pile of crap and it makes me feel better anyway, well, then that will have been an ok deal.

I agonized over so many choices with Sophia before she was even 1 year old... what to feed her and when, how to get her to sleep and on what schedule, when and how to introduce discipline, every possible notion of personal safety and so on.  I imagine that most first-time parents take these decisions fairly seriously because there's no manual and you don't want to end up with a mouthy kid who doesn't eat or sleep reasonably (or a broken or dead kid because you didn't childproof the house well enough).  I was fully prepared for the notion that a person relaxes a bit when it comes to all of these issues for the second kid, but I frequently feel so distracted and busy and tired that I worry about Ella totally getting screwed over (and screwed up in the process).  I worry that most of the food and sleep decisions are being (poorly) made by her teachers, and that the food and sleep decisions we do make are afterthoughts because Sophia sucks up so much of our attention and energy.  Personal safety issues are probably better than I make them out to be in my head (because we do have more experience this time around), but I fished part of an acorn out of her mouth the other day (which she picked up off the floor after it got brought in on somebody's shoe, I guess) and it forced me to recall how I would vacuum our floor daily to avoid such things with Sophia.  This time around, I'm lucky if it gets done every week.  And that's really the tip of the ice berg.  There are so many small pieces from Sophia's toys to keep track of... there's just no way to control it all.  I try to comfort myself with the notion that Ella might benefit from not being as micro-managed as Sophia was, but that's small consolation on days like today when I'm feeling like a failure.

I will remember this summer as the Summer of Sophia Battles or perhaps the Summer of Sophia's Independence.  I know that many of you had first row seats to some of these battles for independence during our summer travels.  Perhaps I should list the things that she is currently fighting us over? 

1.  Her nightly bath.  In general, kids wouldn't need to bathe daily probably, but we have to apply a ton of sunscreen every day in super sunny California, and so I just don't view a bath as optional.  She's also prone to diaper rash and a little water and air each day is the best prevention.

2.  Doot-doots.  Sophia's famous pig-tails are a thing of the past.  She will accept no doot-doots, or barrettes, or head bands, or anything that would get her hair out of her face.  This is another reason why I insist on a nightly bath to wash hair... otherwise it would just hang there in all its nastiness.  This style makes it easy for Ella to always find something to grab onto, which always adds some additional controversy/tears.  I suppose I should either get it cut or stop caring.  So far, can't bring myself to do either.

3.  Food.  Yes, all you naysayers who predicted that our wonderful eater would eventually cease to be so wonderful, you are finally right... congratulations!  In the past few days, most vegetables (and many other things that historically have been favorites) have been shunned.  Even if she eats a few bites, it's always after saying "NO!" vehemently.  It seems like no matter what we pack in her lunch, most of it comes back untouched... pb&j, fruit, you name it.

4.  Morning ritual... which part varies with the day.  Some days, she doesn't want a diaper change; other days, she doesn't want clothes; still other days, there's disagreement over which shoes or whether to brush teeth or about going to school at all.  Honestly, there's no way to predict which feature of the morning routine will be tested on any given day.  Not a nice thing to do to a person before they've had their cup of coffee.

5.  Potty training.  There's really no fight here because we're still not actively working on it.  Please don't talk to me about how she's nearly two-and-a-half-years-old and should be trained a long time ago or you risk me hating you for a few years (or decades).  Sophia is completely uninterested most days, vehemently opposed other days, and her teachers are completely unconcerned.  We offer, she declines.  End of story.  I only bring this up so that you all know not to.  :)  She did pee on the floor the other night after sobbing through the end of her bath, but I don't think that counts as progress.

6.  Attitude.  We count, we do time-outs, we're not a discipline-free household at all.  We ask Sophia to say "No thank you" instead of just "No", we require the use of please (in both English and Turkish, as appropriate) and are working on "thank you", we encourage sharing with Ella and general helpfulness.  For as often as she does everything right, she also seems to expend plenty of effort finding out what happens if she doesn't follow these basic rules.  The result is not pretty.  Her learning curve appears to be quite vertical.  What *we've* learned is that the girl sure does know how to throw a tantrum.  Thankfully, she is very good about behaving nicely outside of the house, so it's really only us and the neighbor on the bedroom side of the house who know the real truth about her tantrum capabilities.  I'd like to promise that I won't try to tape her mouth closed during some future tantrum, but I can't.  The screaming and hysterics make me see red like only really horrifically bad traffic can usually do.  I know of no solution except continually reminding myself that it is wrong and illegal to beat her.  :)

I think most of you know me well enough to know that I read a lot.  When I want to understand something, I hit the books (or the internet in this day and age).  I've read books on nutrition, sleeping, hygiene, discipline, and will be spending some time on potty training shortly.  Additionally, we're economists.  We understand that people respond to incentives and so we set up the rules so that we get the incentives right.  I don't think we're idiotic about dealing with these challenges from a pure parenting stand point.  I mean, I'm sure that we've made (and will make) our fair share of missteps, but I don't think we're Nanny 911 material, you know?  But here's the rub... that doesn't really help me all that much at the end of the day.  At the end of a long day, I feel like I've done a pretty decent job of things on paper, but I still have had fleeting thoughts throughout the day that I'm a total parenting failure.  I feel like I should have better control of my kids.  I feel like I should have more patience with my kids.  I feel like I should see steady (linear) progress with my kids... not just their behavior/eating/sleeping, but in the way that we all interact.  Too many days leave me feeling like that's not happening.  And so I drink a beer and try to devise a plan for feeling better about things tomorrow.

Lulu and Ilke posted pictures of Sophia and Ella on their blog today.  These are taken with their super, amazing camera, but clearly Lulu also just has an amazing eye (I think a few were taken by Ilke, so I won't give her quite all of the credit).  On a day where I was missing my sweet children (when's the last time you heard me say *that* on a Monday!?), seeing these pictures made my heart hurt and now I am counting down the minutes until I can give them a squeeze.  Of course, I'll probably be drinking wine by 6 and praying for bedtimes shortly thereafter, but right now they are immortalized in beautiful pictures in my mind.  Check it out:  http://roamingpixel.blogspot.com/2009/07/httplh6.html.  Makes a person want to give up the little point-and-shoot camera for something more adult.

There.  Now that I've gotten mostly caught up on sharing photos and stories of all of our late-June / early-July adventures, I can spend a bit of time reflecting and saying all the things I wish I could have found the time and energy and thoughtfulness to say when we saw so many of you in person.  Traveling with two little ones is overwhelming.  No surprise there.  The actual travel days that involve planes with no changing tables and canceled flights with many extra hours in airports and airport buses and rental cars with strange carseats are obviously stressful, but it's also stressful on the non-travel days because of different sleeping and eating arrangements, new faces, and changes to the normal rules.  These boring facets of daily life are the glue that hold kids together in my humble opinion... kids count on certain things being constant so that they can venture off into the unknown just a little bit before coming back to what's familiar.  That sense of familiarity and "groundedness" is hard to maintain on the road and, as a result, we all sort of feel out-of-whack.  We all handle it a bit differently... I get bitchy, Sophia gets whiny, Ella gets clingy, and Esen gets ______.  I'll let him fill in the blank.  He's the best and most frequent traveler by nature and upbringing, so maybe he doesn't "get" anything and is just forced to cope with the rest of us when we're not at our best!

In any event, if you feel like we were bitchy, whiny, clingy, and/or _____, please try to scrape up some empathy.  I know that none of you, when you had small children, did the amount and variety of traveling that we attempt.  That's simply my way of asking you to kindly take a moment to truly imagine what it's like to take this show on the road in the way that we do.  Although I can always be heard muttering, "...mmmm... never traveling again... stupid kids... stupid planes... stupid traffic... grrrrr.... never again", I don't really mean this and am always more or less happy that we make the effort to travel with them because of the wonderful people and places that this enables us to see.

Requests for empathy aside, I wanted to write this post as a very heart-felt note of thanks to all who help make these trips possible and enjoyable and to all of you who are so kind to us all year long.  We are so lucky to have wonderful people in our lives who care enough about our kids to meet us half-way, or in many cases, come all the way to us.  We are extremely fortunate that you all are so generous in so many ways.  In a previous life, all of the wonderful gifts that you bestow upon our children (and us!) would be followed-up with proper thank you notes because your generosity is immense and is so appreciated.  Most importantly, so many of you give freely of your time and energy (which is the real expense in raising young kids, I think!).  It is always nice to have extra hands to hold Ella and extra energy to entertain Sophia.  Sophia's "requests" sometimes border on demands befitting the Queen of England, yet you all still enjoy her and find ways of making us feel like we're raising a wonderful little girl.  I'm always amazed by how many people are willing to rearrange their plans and homes and lives to accommodate our craziness.  I know that I am often too frazzled (from lack of sleep usually or a fight about bath time) to act as gracious as I feel, so please accept my gratitude after the fact.

We don't currently have any more family travel plans in our future.  This gives me comfort because we've got some big tasks on our plates in the months ahead.  We're hopeful that the doctors tell us that we can be a little more demanding of Ella with regard to sleeping, Sophia will be working on potty training, and Esen and I both have big plans for our research productivity.  Perhaps our new house will finally also get some much-deserved attention... nah, that's probably still going to wait until 2010!  All of these things require being home and in a routine for a while, so that's just what's on our agenda.  We certainly hope that we'll see some of you for visits at our house this fall and please know that we always hope to reciprocate eventually and show up on your door step with our brood (minus Suzy, who hasn't left Sacramento in ages!).  Next summer, Sophia will be 3.5 and Ella will be nearly 2.  While that's certainly going to be easier in many ways, don't kid yourself that it'll suddenly be a walk in the park.  There are several trips already in the negotiation stage for next summer and we continue to be optimistic that we'll be able to successfully navigate the globe with little ones.  Thanks everyone for sticking with us during these crazy years.  You'll have to remind me of how it all was about 5 years from now, because I'm quite sure that I will have blocked it all out of my memory along with the pain of childbirth!

Just a few days after we got back from ND, Esen and Sophia hit the road again.  This time it was for an Onur family gathering.  They came from far and wide... NY, Turkiye, and Australia... and they all came to Half Moon Bay, California!  Everyone stayed in a big house together and much fun was enjoyed, or so they tell me!  Ella and I stayed in Sacramento for most of the week so that I could get some much-needed time at work, but they we joined them for a long weekend.  Most of the pictures are from others' cameras, but here are the highlights:
(To do a better job of describing each picture, I turn the blog to Esen... be very scared!)

This is babaanne and her favorite granddaughter's gangsta pose... somehow my 2.5 year old looks like a better gangsta than my ma.

This one is hard to describe.  There were many cameras around and I don't know who took it but if Sophia wants to be an actress, I bet her head shot would be something like this one.

Here, clearly I am telling her something she doesn't enjoy.  I had to keep on being a parent while everyone else was trying to spoil her (and yes, it happens everywhere... even in ND.)

Onur bro's working the bbq.  Even though I might look like I am not doing much, I was the brains behind the operation.  I found out that I had much more grilling experience than both of my brothers.  I guess this is because they live in real cities and I don't.

I don't know what Sophia is feeding her babaanne but we are at Duarte's tavern.  Here is a link to it: http://www.duartestavern.com.  This place was founded in 1894 and they had quite some time to perfect their recipes. It was kind of in the middle of nowhere but everyone loved their food.  I was surprised to find a starter of deep-fried smelt... because they prepared them just like back at home.  The whole fish deep-fried, with head, tails and everything.  Even Sophia ate a whole one (I don't know if Jess would dare to try it if she were there).   

I think my mom had calamari and I had some shrimp and avocado dish.  Ilke and my dad had Crab Cioppino which required them to wear bibs.  All was tasty!

If you haven't figured it out yet, Sophia works hard to keep her no.1 spot as the favorite grandchild.  How can Ella and Maya compete with this, c'mon??!!!

She also enjoyed spending time with Lulu teyze since they communicated in English.  Sophia's English is better than her Turkish so I am sure she enjoyed the opportunity to bask in the safe waters of her dominant language.  Regardless, she did very well and communicated perfectly in Turkish as well.

July 1st was Ilke and Lulu's wedding anniversary, so we all dressed up.  We had originally planned to go out but it got too late and Sophia's bedtime prevented us from actually leaving the house.  So, we had our own celebration in the backyard.  Here is a picture of the Onur boys.

Dut-duts... normally I don't insist on them as much as Jess does so Sophia got away without dut-duts most of the time.  But the day we all got dressed up, Sophia also wore the very cute dress her babaanne (and Kaan amce) got for her.  She had to have dut-duts with that dress.  I tried first, she didn't like it.  Babaanne tried her luck, but not good enough.  Finally, we got lucky and Lulu was able to give her dut-duts she could live with.  I can't imagine what would have happened if we all had failed...the world would have to come to an end I guess.

Here is the final product.

Somebody wanted to walk like a penguin and asked babaanne to do it as well.  Don't ask me why penguins should walk with their legs spread open, especially when they have such short legs.  Sophia doesn't fall this way and that's all we care about. 

Another picture.. (too) many were taken! Can you spot the 2% milk among many glasses of Dom Perignon... :)

One of the days we decided to take a day-trip to Monterey, especially because of the aquarium we wanted to take Sophia to.  This is a picture from the lunch before the aquarium.  Sophia was allegedly flirting with a boy in that restaurant but I will not comment on that...

A cute looking Sophia but there is also something devilish about that look... something only a parent can catch.

Boy, good thing it is just her reflection in the mirror.  I almost had a heart attack there for a second thinking we might have two of her!

Only Tiger could look cooler with a golf club in his hands!  The backyard of the house we rented was half-patio and half putting green.

Kaan amca and dede enjoying the fire while sipping wine and waiting on dinner.

Sally teyze, Andrew amca, Sophia and Ella picnicing on the putting green, life doesn't get better than this!

Even though we went to the beach a few times, Sophia's sand-avoidance is still going on.  That meant no walking on the sand for her, which resulted in her saying "baba yukari", or "baba up" in English.  The worst part was carrying extra 30 pounds up and down the stairs that led to that beach.

And once anne and Ella were in town, we went out for a family walk by the ocean.  It was a nice, short walk so we didn't get to go to the beach.  Here is a pose above the cliffs right by the ocean, though.


Where will our Onur travels take us next year?  Hmmmm....

I had this entire LONG post ready to go and it somehow disappeared.  Seriously... I am jinxed in the technology department this week!  Grrr...

OK, well I'm sorry, but now you get the short crappy version of events because I just can't bring myself to replicate the original.  It was wonderful though... just keep that in mind as you read the crappy version below... my original was fabulous and detailed and funny and perfect!

1.  Flight to ND:  Uneventful mostly.  Turbulence in and out of Denver made me want to scream, "Lawd!  We're going down!!" but I held back and we all survived.

2.  First part of the trip was at my grandparents' house.  They were really excited that we brought the girls back to ND since they wouldn't see them any other way.  For folks in their 90s, they sure still got down on the floor to play!


3.  Baptism:  While we were back, we decided to baptize Ella in my family church just like we did with Sophia.  Ella was cutting teeth and getting a cold, so she was a bit cranky (and mostly just tired), so that made for an interesting day.  Here are a few highlights:

The Godparents were my Uncle Jerry (my mom's brother) and my two sisters, Sally and Katie.  They performed admirably, but that's not saying much since I tried not to force cranky, tired, crying Ella into their arms too much during the ceremony.

There are more pictures of the baptism from Ione's camera at
http://www.kodakgallery.com/BrowsePhotos.jsp?&collid=310670079106.629720986406.1247115868833&page=1.

We enjoyed a nice luncheon over at my cousin's house afterward and that was my one chance to catch up with aunts and uncles (and even a long lost cousin who came all the way from Minneapolis).  I'm so grateful that I get the opportunity to see all these folks (especially in one place) when I go back because it always reminds me of my childhood when we were all together.  Here are my girls playing with my cousin Jenny's girls:

Kids love kids and this was no exception!!  Sophia had a blast with Rachel and Grace!

4.  The middle portion of the trip was spent up in Minot with the Sautner clan.  It was at this point in the trip that my camera mysteriously vanished into the couch cushions, so I have almost no pictures!  Ione took plenty to make up for it, so I'll provide you with links to her photos:
(a) http://www.kodakgallery.com/BrowsePhotos.jsp?&collid=310670079106.529720986406.1247116245358&page=1
(b) http://www.kodakgallery.com/BrowsePhotos.jsp?&collid=310670079106.139720986406.1247116245359&page=1
(c) http://www.kodakgallery.com/BrowsePhotos.jsp?&collid=310670079106.829720986406.1247116245359&page=1
(d) http://www.kodakgallery.com/BrowsePhotos.jsp?&collid=310670079106.929720986406.1247116351719&page=1
(e) http://www.kodakgallery.com/BrowsePhotos.jsp?&collid=310670079106.729720986406.1247116351719&page=1
Here are a few cute ones...
This ballerina costume made Esen go for another beer, but I thought it was adorable (and so did Sophia).

Ella fell asleep on me at the zoo and made a slightly warm day more than slightly warm for me.

Sophia is quite a little copycat these days and had to sit just like grandpa while playing with Legos.

She was more brave about this lion than the real ones!

Making antlers in front of the elk (or moose?) with Auntie Sally.

The girls minus one.

Nobody told Ella not to feed the wild animals.  :)

I'm starting to have a better idea about where Ella gets her fuzzy hair from...


5. Back down to my grandparents' house to spend time with Grandma and Grandpa Griffith for the last few days of the trip.  Again, my camera was missing at this point, so I have absolutely no pictures from these days.  There are a few pictures from my mom's camera of the events, but mostly there was a lot of running around in the basement (which is primarily a big, mostly empty carpeted room that is perfect for Sophia's insanity), some bubble blowing outside, and some reading (yes, that's Esen wearing my Mickey Mouse ears against his will as he reads in Turkish):



There are a few pictures taken with my cell phone that captured some of the most heart-warming moments of the trip for me... my mom, grandma, Sophia, and I sitting on my grandparents' front steps (where I sat countless times as a child)... just talking, singing songs together, being silly.  It was so sweet (until the mosquitoes came out and ruined our fun, that is).

Many renditions of ABCs, Baa-Baa Black Sheep, and several others were sung.  Too bad we don't have a video... Sophia has never been sweeter.

6.  The trip back to CA was slightly less uneventful than the trip to ND.  Oh, it started out OK... returned our SUV rental with car seats (yes, we were briefly an SUV family and, while it was wonderful and spacious, I still don't think we'll make the switch anytime soon).  Flight into Denver was fine and I thought we were headed for a blissful afternoon until I saw "canceled" next to our Sacramento flight.  Although we made it home that night (around midnight CA-time), the extra 6+ hours in the Denver airport were slightly challenging.  Poor Sophia took her nap on the airport floor (long after she was tired enough to collapse):

Esen got stuck in a hellish line with a crying Ella while I watched Sophia sleep.  Although we could text each other, there was no way to get Ella back into my arms (for a much-needed fresh diaper and dose of milk) without losing his place in line or waking up Sophia.  As per usual, Ella got the short end of the stick and stayed in line with a wet diaper and an empty stomach.  Ah, the life of a second child...

OK, I'm posting this and going to bed.  Perhaps my technological luck will improve with the next post.

Initially, Ella wasn't very thrilled about posing and smiling, but then she realized the camera was out and she cooperated by being silly.



Although her 9 month doctor visit was a week ago already, here are her stats:
Height = 30 inches (100th percentile)
Weight = 20 pounds (75th percentile)
Head = 17.75 inches (80th percentile)

These measurements are very close to Sophia's at this stage (perhaps Ella is just a little bit bigger), so we're still on target to have another tall girl!  The 9 month visit is the only trip to the doctor that doesn't involve any shots, so Ella celebrated with a nice long relaxing nap.

Stay tuned... more catch-up posts coming tonight if kids cooperate and go to bed!

Still waiting?  Yeah, sorry about that.  But in my defense, I just got my camera back this morning.  I'd promise a speedy turnaround complete with lots of witty lines about the ND trip, but Ella and I are headed to Half Moon Bay tonight to join Esen and Sophia, who have been vacationing there all week with the Onur clan.  The good news is that Sunday night I should be able to post plenty of pictures from both trips!  So hang onto your shirts, a big blog post is truly "coming soon".  Happy Fourth of July everyone!

The camera mysteriously found it's way into the couch cushions at my dad's house, so it'll be a little while before I post pictures from our trip (unless some of you other photogs want to share yours!).  We made it back late last night... a 6+ hour delay thanks to a canceled flight from Denver to Sacramento.  Except for that fact, the return trip was uneventful actually.  My favorite part of the last flight was hearing Sophia (from several seats over) singing, "Ba-ba black sheep, have you any wool?" at the top of her lungs. 

Trip recap coming soon...

Well, we're taking our crazy show on the road again... heading out to ND tomorrow morning.  I am very hopeful that it will be an enjoyable trip, but there are oh so many opportunities for it to turn into a fiasco.  Here, let me list them!

1.  Flights.  Anytime you put two small children in an enclosed space for multiple hours and tell them to be good, disaster could rear its ugly head.  Sophia could melt down (Denver to Bismarck leg is during her nap time, so she *SHOULD* sleep), Ella could poop all over herself (regional jets do not, I repeat, DO NOT have changing tables), or... wait, let me stop there before I work myself into a tizzy!

2.  Sleeping.  Sleeping issues are a potential problem with any travel, but this trip could be particularly troublesome because all four of us will be crammed into the same room.  Although it's a fairly big room in Minot, it's a small one in Mandan.  Size probably isn't the issue.  The bigger issue is that one of our kids is still a crappy sleeper (won't mention any names, but it rhymes with Hella... yeah, I'm from NorCal now) and is currently cutting teeth (first tooth came out on Sunday, which explains my exceptionally crappy night on Saturday!).  One sweet angel will surely wake the other sweet angel up... probably more than once.  I'm not sure how that's all going to play out.  Don't tell me to be an optimist.  I haven't slept well in nearly a year.

3.  Behavior.  We're in the terrible twos folks.  Tantrums are a nearly-daily occurance at our house.  Add a lack of sleep and our desire to prevent meltdowns to that boiling kettle and I bet you can imagine what we'll get.  I hope that we'll continue to stay strong and follow our usual discipline routine, but doing so on unfamiliar turf presents some challenges.  I know what we should add to that mix... grandparents with a penchant for spoiling their adorable granddaughters!  Yikes.

I could go on I suppose, but I think my energy would really be put to better use by packing or prepping the house or meditating to find my inner peace while I still have the chance.  Sure hope people in ND have plenty of alcoholic beverages on hand!!  I'll post photos when we return on June 24th.

OK, I've never really been one to celebrate faux milestones, but Sophia will soon officially move into the preschool classroom and the teachers in her current room held a little ceremony for the kids.  It was sweet.  We got to watch Sophia playing with all her little friends and talk with the other parents that we usually only see briefly in passing.  Good stuff.  A little bit of madness as you'll see in the videos below, but it's nice to see her so comfortable and around so many people who know her and care about her every day.  You'll see lots of pictures/videos with Sophia and Bria... they're best friends.

Ella was there, too, of course... but she was sort of cranky about all the commotion at the end of her day and she eventually fell asleep on me.


Circle time... they sang lots of cute songs.  We have videos of lots of it, but they're really just a bunch of kids singing (poorly).  And actually, Sophia just stared off into space during most of it because the paparazzi was totally flashing in their faces the whole time. 


Here she is getting her "diploma":
    



The best part was all the running around after the fact.  Here's some hopping:
    
And some more hopping:
    
And more hopping:
  
And more hopping still:
    
Girls are silly, huh?  When she crashed, she crashed hard!

For the big occasion, the teachers had the kids working on painting self-portraits all last week.  Sophia clearly thinks she's Bria's sister based on the skin tone she chose:

She wasn't the only one with an identity crisis... one of her Asian classmates chose to put bright yellow hair on her self-portrait.  :)
Here are pictures with two of her favorite teachers, Ivory and Karen:

As you can see below, Ivory is already counting the months until she gets another Onur girl in her classroom:


I was hoping to get a decent picture of the four of us.  This is the best we could do.  My favorite part about this shot (aside from the restroom sign) is the look on Sophia's face... it's totally a facial expression that Esen makes all the time!  She's becoming his mini-me!!


As always, I got a shot of Sophia that is my new favorite.  Our big girl is movin' on...

This is Trevor Kott.

You can read his whole story at http://www.trevorkott.com/, but let me give you the abridged version.  He was born in Sacramento four months before Sophia, was diagnosed with leukemia, and died just six months later.  He needed a bone marrow transplant in order to have a chance, but none of his family members were a match and there was no match for him in the bone marrow registry.  I first learned of his story when his mom came on our local news and begged people to join the marrow registry so that they might find a match for Trevor.  As a new mother, I cried and cried when I thought of that poor mother so desperate that she was pleading with total strangers.  I thought about going right down to the local "marrow drive" to be tested, but I had my hands full with baby Sophia and I put it off.  A week later they reported that Trevor had died.  I felt so incredibly guilty.  What if I had been a match and had been able to save him?  How many other people thought about helping, but didn't?  The thought still haunts me and I still think of Trevor often.  A wise friend once told me that motherhood would make me feel like the mother to all children, and Trevor was my first introduction to just how strong that feeling can be.

My impression of a bone marrow transplant is probably similar to yours... painful, huge needles stuck in your hip bones, a lengthy recovery, etc.  I have this impression because that's how it was for a close high school friend of mine who donated bone marrow to his sister many years ago.  That view is dated and inaccurate thanks to a little thing called science.  If you're a match for someone, donating marrow now involves taking some drugs for a few days (to put some of your marrow into your blood stream) and then allowing them to take blood out of one arm, remove the marrow'y goodness, and put the blood back into your other arm.  Relative to big old needles in your hips, this is a walk in the park... an out-patient procedure with almost no recovery!!  You can watch two Sacramento donors talk about their experience in the video at http://www.trevorkott.com/.

Joining the bone marrow registry is simple, especially right now.  During the 2009 "Marrowthon" that starts today (http://www.marrow.org/HELP/Events/Marrowthon2009/index.html), you can have a kit sent to you for FREE!  A simple swab of your cheek with the enclosed q-tips, mail it back in the postage paid envelope, and you're done... sleeping peaceful with the thought of the good you're doing.  Imagine me on the news begging on behalf of Sophia or Ella if you must.  That's what finally did it for me. 

It turns out that people of mixed race/ethnicity are especially important to get registered since those with more complicated and unusual heritage are harder to match (and rarer to find in the registry).  That means that our little half-Turks are much-less likely to have a match registered than others.  There's currently another Sacramentan who is 1/4 Japanese and 3/4 caucasian, and he also has no match in the registry because of his unique heritage (his grandparents' Japanese/American union was unusual in the wake of WWII).  As a result, the National Bone Marrow Registry is also really seeking to make the registry more accurately reflect our increasing diversity.  Please pass this on to any and all that you think might be willing to help.

It's sad, but we may have witnessed our last "doot-doots" on Sophia's cute little head.  She's gotten increasingly unwilling to let me put them in and now actually requests "one doot-doot mama" (which means a pony-tail).  She looks so grown up!

Other changes in our house this weekend:  Ella has finally discovered that she can eat the crunchy cereal on her tray!  I think she previously thought they were just toys. 
  

So that's all I've got to share... pony-tails and crunchy food... big news in our little world.  :)

I'll leave you with some super cute pictures of Esen cuddling in bed with Sophia:

I think someone is becoming a daddy's girl...

Imagine Sophia, just up from an extra-long nap (2.5 hours) and cranky as a result.  She was hungry and too cranky to decide what she wanted to eat.  After about 10 different suggestions from us, we finally named something that she wanted.  Well, sort of.  I said, "Sophia, do you want to eat some broccoli with dipping sauce?"  She said, "Yes.  No, carrots.  And cauliflower."  I responded that we did have some carrots, but that we were all out of cauliflower.  Before this afternoon, I couldn't have imagined how poorly received a statement like "we're all out of cauliflower" might be, but whamo... I sure found out!!  She scrunched up her face as if I had just pinched her hard, and cried out (in REAL PAIN), "CAULIFLOWWWWWWERRRRRRR!!!!"  This cauliflower-induced fit continued as she sobbed in my arms and I laughed and laughed and laughed (until she looked at me as if I was genuinely hurting her feelings).  Seriously, how do we stand a chance in this environment?  I couldn't possibly be annoyed though.  How many parents out there are dealing with children sobbing over a lack of cauliflower.  Clearly it could be worse.

Here's what they looked like when they came off the plane... all decked out for the Godmother competition.

For those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about, the Godmother Olympics is my silly attempt at dealing with the difficult task of choosing between my two sisters for the roll of Ella's Godmother. 

Here's the back of Sally's shirt, which detailed all the reasons she should be Ella's Godmother.


Esen and I decided on 4 events worth 25 points a piece:
(1)  We started off Thursday morning (before coffee!) with the Clothing Challenge... how well can they dress the girls?
 
The videos are a little dark, but here are the results:
         
Katie got the screamer (fyi, she screams when anyone dresses her).  Sally had it a little easier because Sophia told her what she wanted to wear:
        
Sally won this event by a few points, but Katie earned a few props for the "popped" collar on Ella's polo shirt (even though it was a mistake).

(2)  Friday morning (after coffee) we put them through the Ten Commandments Challenge.


Alternating tasks of picking up Suzy poop and writing down the Ten Commandments produced some interesting results.
       

The results:

Katie won this round (with 4 correct to Sally's 3).  The best part was that our back lawn was poo-free at the end!!

(3)  Friday night WWJD Challenge:

Basically, we gave them 5 scenarios and asked for some free-response... the wholesome (Jesus) response to dealing with the scenario and their prediction of the less wholesome (Jess) response.  We had some good laughs over this (perhaps the wine helped, but those girls were creative!).  Katie eked out a win in this round, but it was close!

(4) The last event was Saturday... one-handed diaper changing!!  Timed, of course!

Funny stuff... Ella was not too impressed, but she settled down when she was given some technology:
            
Sally blew the competition away in this event and secured the gold medal in the process.

The Godmother Olympics were fun, but I definitely learned over the course of the visit just how much my sisters adore both Sophia and Ella.  We couldn't be luckier to have them in their lives and I am hopeful they will be able to help us cope with all the challenges of having two girls so close in age.  Fortunately, we're able to choose TWO Godmothers because I just wouldn't have it any other way.  Sally will continue to brag (probably for decades) about her win and Ella will finally have more of something than Sophia does!

Other fun pictures from the visit:





Looks like someone is taking Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star a bit to literally... :)

In other news, Ella is definitely making her move... to standing!  We've caught her pulling herself up a lot, so Sophia and Suzy aren't going to be safe on the couch for long!!

Esen, you are my hero for getting this on video.
 

Sophia has really started to interact more with Ella (perhaps because now Ella crawls around after her like Sophia is her mama duck).  Today, Sophia trapped Ella in the hallway and forced the ABC song on her over and over and over again.  Ella finally burst into tears (who wouldn't!) but then Sophia was sweet enough to try and comfort her ("No, no Ella... don't cry Ella...") by stroking her face and back.


In other news, shorts season means two things: (1) my pasty white legs really need some sunless tanner because lord knows I'm not getting much time to lounge around in the sun, and (2) Sophia's knees look like raw hamburger since she has suddenly forgotten how to walk.  She was in the backyard this weekend with Esen when she apparently was just walking along at normal speed and suddenly fell.  The screams were deafening (and I was inside the house... what must the neighbors think?) and the result (besides a ton of tears and Dora the Explorer bandaids) was Sophia walking around like she had been clubbed in the knees by a baseball bat.  She was walking around so slowly that this video actually looks fast relative to 30 minute prior!  Poor kid.  She'll be wearing pants for a few days regardless of the temperature outside!