In particular, I really like the sway move that she busts into around the 30 second mark.  :)
 

And one of Ella's silly new tricks (that she's awfully pleased about):
 

Sophia, my sweet, sensitive, darling daughter seems to be increasingly in-tune with my mood.  This is a little scary because I've been stressed in recent months, so the mood is not always good.  Even when I think that I'm keeping it together and being patient or happy around the girls, she seems to see right through me.  One day: "Mama, are you ok?"  Another day (out of the blue!): "Mama, are you happy?"  Followed by: "Mama, can I come hug you now?"  Seriously, if I needed more evidence that Sophia was sensitive, I think I got it.  In so many cases, I feel her eyes on me... sizing me up, showing concern in her little two-year-old way, giving a kiss or a hug to help me perk up just a bit.  It's incredibly sweet and makes me feel so loved.

A few nights ago, Sophia was crying in her bed (which she NEVER does) and when we asked what was wrong, she proclaimed, "My bedroom is scared!"  She then proceeded to explain that Ella's bedroom was also "scared" (her version of "scary").  I crawled into bed next to her (which I also NEVER do) and listed all the things in their bedrooms that are fun and not at all scary.  She listened intently and calmed down, and at the end of my two minute argument against scariness, she leaned over, gave me a sweet and appreciative hug and kiss (on the lips!), and made it very clear that I could get out of her bed now.  She repeated the same thing with Esen.  :)

Ella is doing some talking these days as well.  She now says Mama, Baba, Ella, and Uh-oh!  She's also mastering some sign language... she knows "more", "all done", and "milk".  Right now, most of her "talking" is done with her incredible facial expressions, laughing, and growling!  As in rabid dog.  Or bear.  Or semi-friendly monster.  I have some cute video (of the growling and the girls rolling around together with Sophia losing)... it's long, but a really good depiction of our daily life:
 

In other news - and forgive me for being brief, but I have got to get to bed:
1.  Corn on the cob... enjoyed by all (Esen and I especially enjoy how busy it keeps them... Sophia plows through 2 ears of corn!):


2.  We're working on the next generation of doot-doots, but the going is slow!


3.  I convinced Sophia the other day that she should try to lick her elbow.  Here's the adorable series of pics that resulted!

Isn't she getting big?  Yeah.  More and more I see TEENAGER in that face.  Hard to believe she's just 2.

I'm not sure if the following bit of laziness will earn me a Wikipedia mention under "free rider problem in economics," but even I have to admit that what I'm about to do is pretty damn lazy.  I'm desperate here folks... desperate to keep you up to speed and desperate to get to bed!

We opened our doors to the whole Economics Department this weekend for a back-to-school BBQ.  It would have worked out just super if people didn't automatically burst into flames upon stepping outdoors (it was like 105 or something horrific).  20+ adults, 10 or so kids, chocolate cake everywhere.  Eventually, the backyard was tolerable, but by then the kids were having so much fun doing laps around the house that I just went outside and drank my beer and pretended not to notice.  We all survived, but it was a close enough call for most of the 3 hours that I didn't even think to pick up my camera.  Fortunately, one of my colleagues (who conveniently blogs) did... and she didn't spend most of the day scraping chocolate cake off of oh-so-many surfaces, so she's already posted the pictures for me!  Yeayyy, Kace!  Enjoy everybody... free ride away!  http://kacecorner.blogspot.com/2009/08/attack-of-clones.html

I took the pink pig pictures roughly on time... there was a slight delay because Esen was still on the east coast with the camera (and he and Sophia were delayed an extra day thanks to airline problems).  Ella has obviously reached that important developmental stage we like to call "cell phone awareness" (also known as "cell phone addiction").

"Hey look, Ma... I'm texting my new buddy in Korea!"

Without a camera for nearly a week, but home alone with the baby... now that's a tricky predicament because I could finally pay attention to her and only her, and there were so many photo opportunities!  I was able to snap a few cute pictures using my cell phone.

One weekday morning I wasn't quite fast enough getting her over to school, so she wanted to nurse and then fell asleep on me... for an hour!  As you can see she was just so comfortable that I couldn't bear to move her.


You'd think that Suzy would get a break with 50% fewer children in the house, but I think Ella was so bored without Sophia that she sort of harassed Suzy more than usual.  I am really amazed that I was able to capture this Home-Alone-Macauley-Culkin moment where she tries to look innocent.  Suzy's face doesn't lie... she's clearly tortured and unable to find a suitably safe location now that Ella is walking.


That's all I have time for at the moment.  Bear with me... the start of the semester is upon us and life is CRAZY busy.  I'll try to get you at least a little bit of good stuff when I can!

Esen, the most daring man on the planet in my book, has taken Sophia on a six day trip to visit the Onurs of north Jersey.  They left Sacramento this morning and here's the cute series of photos Esen sent from his cell phone over the course of the day.

1. Proof that he was feeding her fruit in the airport

2. Blowing kisses before boarding the plane in Sacramento

3. Riding the airport tram in Dallas

4. Baggage claim in Newark

5. Blowing kisses from her bed at Kaan and Hande's house


He reports that the day of travel went smoothly and the pictures sure make it look easy, huh?  I'm not all that surprised.  He chose his flight times wisely and, as a result, she slept a bit on each of the three-hour long legs of the trip.  I'm sure she will have a great time playing with Maya while she's there... we'll see how Maya takes it!

Ella and I are on our own until late Monday night, so I'll surely be ready for Sophia's non-stop talking, running, singing, and screaming by Tuesday!

It's no secret... we're really happy with Shalom School where Sophia and Ella spend most of their waking hours during the work week.  We're happy with most of the normal stuff that you'd think would be important, but it's really several of the teachers that are making all the difference for me at this point.  Some of you who are educators are surely nodding your heads and saying, "Duh!"  It's clear that at least one of Ella's teachers is completely smitten with her and, given that this teacher is funny and a huge soccer fan and chock-full-o'-awesome all on her own (as in, I totally want to hang out with her socially but am not sure if that's allowed/awkward?), I'm thrilled at the thought of some of her awesomeness rubbing off on Ella.

Here's a picture that was taken with the teacher's iPhone and sent to me this past week.  Several of the teachers in the baby room call Ella "Ella Pie" because that's what Sophia calls her.  This picture was titled, "Pensive Pie."  :)

(As a side note, when I look at this picture of Ella, I am puzzled by who's child she is... she looks nothing like either of us!!)

Not long after, another version of "Pensive Pie" (created by an iPhone app called Faces Wild) was also sent to me:

Does it get more awesome than this?  Not really (in my opinion), but there is much, much more!  The teacher calls Ella "her muse", so it won't surprise you that I've also gotten the following "creations" over the past couple of months:

I was going to save these last two little squirrels for Christmas cards, but I just can't keep them from you any longer!  Sophia's little squirrel ears remind me of how her doot-doots used to stick straight up off of her head when her hair was really short.  :)

Now, perhaps you're scratching your head and wondering why I equate this behavior with good teachers.  I'm not sure there's much in the way of curriculum in the baby room at Shalom, but by taking the time/energy to make my daughters into hilarious little squirrels and astronauts and gnomes (among other things), I *KNOW* that they are giving them good lovin' all day long.  When Ella took her first steps at school, the teacher who told me teared up when she described the moment.  When Sophia runs into the baby room to get Ella with us every day, they talk to her and give her hugs, too, even though she was never in their room.  I know that most of the teachers genuinely care about our girls in the most nurturing and maternal way and that they realize how much trust it takes to turn Sophia and Ella over to their care every day.  Clearly we would all be lost without them!

I haven't posted any videos in a while.  I guess I kept thinking that Ella was going to start walking any day and then I'd share that milestone with you.  Three unaided steps was how we defined walking for Sophia, so we've been waiting for the same from Ella.  Well, Ella has been taking her sweet time, but finally took three steps today while Esen and I were down on the floor playing with her.  While I don't have any video proof yet (because she's still so much faster at crawling, that she always drops to the floor whenever she really wants to get anywhere), I'm working on it.

In the meantime, here are a couple of cute things.  The first captures Sophia and Ella playing in their indoor tent, which is a little contraption that I bought for Sophia to sleep in on the road or when we have houseguests and she gives up her room.  Turns out, she much prefers her inflatable bed, so the tent comes out for play.  Sophia was clearly in a monster mood and Ella LOVED it!  The lighting/picture quality is horrible, but this sort of interaction is so typical (and amusing) in our day that I thought I'd share anyway.
   
Here's a picture of the girls playing (with baby dolls) in the pink tent on another occasion:

As you can see, one of us was foolishly conned into joining them (did I mention that this this is for kids?):


I contemplated *NOT* bothering to share the next video with you all.  I mean, it's two minutes of Ella eating peas, which sounds pretty boring (unless you get really gaga over seeing how amazing her hand coordination has gotten).  But, as I was shooting, Esen and Sophia were having such a seemingly hilarious time playing in the other room, that I found it hard not to run and look.
   

I haven't written much about food lately, so let me share some highlights.  Although Sophia has gotten more willful about food, she's not really all that much pickier when I look at her diet over the course of an entire week.  She's much more likely to look at her plate and say, "Mama, I don't like <insert food here>," but then eat it anyway, so I just remind her to take a bite because it's something she's liked before.  I made some tabouleh today and, after I had squeezed in some fresh lemon juice, Sophia picked up the lemons and proceeded to lick/eat them (something her Baba taught her):

This just goes to show you that she's really not that sweet.  :)

Ella's eating has been really great.  She plows through any pureed baby food you throw her way and is really doing well with an assortment of finger foods.  Her favorites are small cubed sweet potatoes, peas, tofu, and Kix. I keep trying to get her to eat bananas and pasta, but she's not that crazy about them.  She's currently eating almost an avocado a day, which is great except that it's definitely *NOT* a finger food. 

Sophia did the same thing at this age (and for months and months... we should have planted an avocado tree!)... such California girls!  I sure hope that some fancy-pants scientists don't come out with a study that says avocado gives you leprosy or something.  Ella has also been eating yogurt for at least a month now and seems to tolerate it just fine, so I'll probably start letting her have some cheese.  Shredded cheese is a nice time-consuming finger food that might buy me a few more minutes to eat my own dinner (plus, Suzy is more than happy to clean cheese up off of the floor).  It's also time to let her try some scrambled eggs and some things with wheat in them.  It sure is nice having an older child and some additional information on the likelihood of allergies... I worried a lot more about different foods bothering Sophia.  Well, that's not quite right... I think I just worried more about following the rules regarding when to introduce certain foods to Sophia, which is problematic because the rules aren't all that clear about many things.  The second time around, the rules are just guiding my choices rather than dictating them.

Sophia's H has *both* hands and hearts:


Esen convinced me that I should be ice cream and we were all pleased with how it turned out:


The alligator seems to be Sophia's favorite:



And the finished project:


You won't be surprised to learn that Sophia has convinced me that Ella needs some special letters on her wall, too.  We started this morning:


Taking your suggestions for L's since we have two of them to do!

Thanks for sharing your exciting news with us this weekend!  Look at that happy, newly-engaged couple!

S is for SSSSSSnake.

O is for Octopus...

P is for Puppy!!


Any guess what letters are next?  I'd like to hear your suggestions for H, I, and A (although A is definitely going to be an Alligator, so really just H and I).  We'll hang them on her bedroom wall once we get her name finished and then either work on "Lale" or "Ella" depending on Sophia's preferences.  She might feel like Ella should have some fun letters on her wall, too.

Esen said that he didn't know I had such a creative side, but many of you regular readers are infinitely more crafty than I am and I have been fortunate to learn from some of the best over the years.  I really enjoy doing stuff like this with Sophia now that she can manage markers and (mostly) glue and is totally into using googly-eyes and pipecleaners.  These kinds of tasks give us some tangible things to do over the weekends when the days are just begging for some organized activities (particularly quite activities for when Ella is napping).  Also, they do such great art projects with them at school that I was starting to feel left out.  I mean, this past week Sophia learned all about bones (she now tells us that her skeleton is inside her), her heart, her teeth, and intestines... each was accompanied with amazing art projects to get/keep the kids interested.  I'm thrilled that she's learning all these things, but I just wanted to play, too!!

1. Ella continues to impress in the sleep department.  We've had several nights where she slept through (or cried minimally such that we didn't go in) and every other night since the sleep training began has involved me getting up no more than once to get her back to sleep.  Although I feel like I've gotten a new lease on life, the pessimist in me is just waiting for this heaven to come to a screeching halt.

2. Ella also took her first steps this week.  Not that we saw them, of course... she took two steps in between two of her teachers at school on Thursday.  Since then, she continues to tease us with a step here and a step there, but nothing that makes me officially want to declare her "a walker".  Sophia is incredibly anxious and cheers Ella on when I hold both her hands and encourage her to walk.  Sophia says that she wants to hold Ella's hand once she starts walking... of course, I imagine Ella falling as a result and being drug down the hallway by an oblivious Sophia, so we'll see how that sisterly-love thing works out.

3. The battle of the doot-doots continues to be lost on a daily basis (I've actually given up that fight and let the little hippie child just run around with her free-flowing hair), but for some reason Esen got her to agree to a pony-tail today... apparently in exchange for some tough love for himself.  He hadn't even been drinking, so I'm still amazed that he allowed this to happen.

If there's any doubt in your mind as to where Sophia got that cold, hard stare, check out the very next picture I took:

Maybe his doot-doots were too tight??

4. I was looking for something new and fun to do with the girls this weekend and I decided to set up the tent in the back yard.  It was a big hit and we enjoyed a (pretend) picnic lunch out there.  I asked Sophia if she wanted to sleep out there with me tonight and she replied, "No mama.  I sleep in my bed."  (There was definitely an implied "duh" at the end of her sentence.)


This was a nice way to let Ella down outside, which is something we struggle with because the patio is concrete (tough on the knees) and the lawn has Suzy-poo lurking around even though we try to pick it all up.  Ella was fascinated by the zipper on the screen door, which annoyed the hell out of Sophia (who wanted it CLOSED, ELLA!).

But my favorite picture of the angels by a mile is this little gem.  Although I did ask them to smile for me as I stepped outside the tent to take a picture, Sophia's hug was her own doing... she sure does adore her baby sister.

July 29, 2009:  Ella sleeps from 8pm - 5am
I declare this the first official night of sleep in more than 10 months.  I felt amazing this morning, until about 10am when I realized that one little ol' night of sleep (I mean, I only slept for about 6 of those hours after all) only put a dent in my total sleep deficit.

It took two totally unfun nights of gentle sleep training and she will most certainly revert to her wakeful ways before this becomes a nightly ritual that I count on, but right now I am happy to celebrate the little victory.  Even if the next tooth or the next cold set us back to square one, I now have faith that we all have some glorious sleep-filled nights in our future.

I tried to capture some pink pig pics two days in a row and little-miss-mobility has only gone along with my plan minimally.  Yet, I finally got her to sit still long enough to snap a quick shot:


I was so busy trying to get her to smile (while simultaneously keeping Sophia out of the shot) that I cut off her head in what would have clearly been the best picture!  Bummed, but at least you can still see her sweet smile.  She was in a good mood this morning!


That good mood was no accident... Ella has recently survived some harrowing times!  At 9 months, her two bottom teeth came in SIMULTANEOUSLY.  At 10 months, her two top teeth came in SIMULTANEOUSLY.  Let's just say that we've had a few difficult nights, but I'm hopeful the worst is behind us (for now).  I tried to get a picture of those fabulous teeth, but it was bordering on child abuse, so this is the best I can offer you:

Looks like there's going to be a nice big space between those two top teeth, so I'm a little concerned that Ella's cute factor is going to take a direct hit.  Oh well.  With Sophia wearing her hair in a quasi-mullet and Ella sporting some big buck teeth, I guess we'll just embrace our inner-redneck for a while.  Have a good weekend, y'all.

"Mama, I sleeping!" (and not even Ella could disrupt this end-of-the-day faux nap)


Girls in Green


Girls in Orange (color coding makes them easier to find)


Double-Take (c'mon... it's her BIG TOE!!)


Tantrum Reducer (helping so far I think)


Yogurt Fun


Bathing Beauty (enjoying the freedom of NO DIAPER)


Starlet in the Making (one of her teachers has declared that Sophia has the Marlo Thomas flip)


Bird Call (finally Ella's bird noise is captured on film!)
  

Brahms Lullaby (Sophia style with Jumparoo accompaniment and surprise ending)
  

Summertime Pleasures (that encourage teeth brushing!)
  

Free Style (standing, that is... watch her LET GO! Count down to walking is on!)
 

Thank you to those who reached out to me after my last post and said kind things.  I needed it.  I didn't quite realize that I was asking for it, but thanks for recognizing my needs when even I didn't.  True to form, I've sought out some books to help give me perspective on the current state of things (along with the advice of some friends who have - or have recently survived having - young kids).  A few chapters into a book on "raising a spirited child," I'm already feeling better.  I suppose I could bore with some of the details about how it helps to think of your kid's traits in positive terms instead of negative ("determined" rather than "stubborn" and "spirited" instead of "satanic"), but really the AHA! moment came for me when the book talked about how kids basically live up to the expectations we set for them.  Thus, if I face each morning with dread about how my stubborn Sophia is going to fight me over brushing teeth / getting dressed / you-name-it, then chances are she will.  If, instead, I embrace her determination by applying the house rules and not getting all riled up, then perhaps she will eventually calm down without losing that sense of determination that will surely serve her well as she gets older.  This is a nice way to look at things... a pragmatic, embrace-the-good approach that I hope I can implement.

The other nice suggestion that came out of the book is a little exercise I will do here on the blog in this post.  The instructions are to gather some of my favorite pictures of Sophia (I suppose I could do this with Ella, too, but perhaps I wait until some point when she drives me crazy) and think about why I like these particular pictures.  The point of the exercise is to explore what it is about a set of pictures that speaks to us and that those characteristics really get at the heart of how we view and feel about our kids... a look in their eye, a smirk on their face, their reaction to something.  What's interesting to me is that, when posed with this exercise, I immediately gravitated toward 3 or 4 of the pictures below in my mind... it's truly amazing how a handful of pictures seem to really capture the qualities that I love most in Sophia.  I suspect that some of you would be able to do this exercise with similar ease.  So, here you go... a mama's view of her first-born in a nutshell.  Enjoy!

The first photo I thought of is a very recent one taken by Lulu.  It's Sophia's eyes that grab me.  There's a deepness and darkness and intensity to them in this photo that reminds me of something I feel in myself and fell in love with in Esen.  I think Esen and I are both very introspective and analytical people.  There's a seriousness in Sophia's dark eyes at times that makes me feel like she is the same way.  There are many times when I look at her as she is concentrating on something and feel like she will one day be an exceptionally thoughtful person who carefully thinks before she acts, who will have the ability to convey scorn or sympathy with a simple glance, and who will one day find the love of her life by seeing something similar in the eyes of another.

I also saw all of these things forming in the photo of her below (the second picture I thought of), which was taken more than a year ago already... maybe it was something that I wanted to see or, more likely, something I expected to see because of other aspects of her personality that were already obvious to me.


The next picture I thought of was a series of pictures taken this past Easter as she completed her egg hunt in the back yard.  I had a hard time choosing from among 3-4 different shots, but here's one of her munching on goldfish crackers that were inside the Easter eggs.  I chose this one because there was something transforming about putting her in that little dress.  That day, she was a sweet, feminine little girl.  Her complexion was so rosy and healthy, her mood was a calm happiness, content to enjoy the simple pleasures of the moment... walking around the yard looking for colorful surprises and then enjoying the snacks inside.  She wasn't giddy or overly excited the way you might expect a kid to be about their first treasure hunt... she was just happy and content.  It's a calmness that I rarely feel in myself and that I think Sophia might struggle to find as she grows older.  On this day, she had it in droves. We both did.

God, I miss those doot-doots!

The next picture I chose was originally labeled on the blog as "teenage indifference".  In hindsight, that's not really what I see in this picture.  As I was thinking about Sophia's personality and the pictures that capture those features in my mind, I immediately thought of the photo below because it conveys a vibe that I get from her a lot:  "You don't really impress me, mama."  My attempts to get her to smile or get her excited are met with this expression unless she actually feels smiley or excited.  I don't feel scorn from her in these cases; I think she just doesn't like it when those around her try too hard.  Faux enthusiasm from teachers garners this reaction, too.  I think she'll be one of those people who can see right through a fake... maybe she already can.


I chose this recent picture of the girls playing with Sally and Andrew because it shows Sophia's hand on Ella's back, which brings me to the next Sophia'ism that is undeniable, but that most people don't see:  she has a gentleness that really comes out around Ella.  Although there is the usual rivalry over toys and attention ("NO ELLA!!  NO ELLA!!!"), many times Sophia will gently stroke Ella's back or cheek or rub her fuzzy hair... they are the sweetest gestures.  And while she also likes to give Ella big hugs and kisses, the smaller fleeting gestures of sweet affection and gentleness remind me that Sophia is understated.  There's a quietness about her that is sometimes perceived as shyness (which also describes her in some situations), but I believe the quietness is more reflective of the fact that her true nature is to observe and deliver small doses of personality in an understated way.  Seeing her gracefully stepping into the role of big sister sometimes makes my heart want to explode.


Many times I've heard children described as "quick to smile."  That's not how I would describe Sophia as she tends to almost reserve her smiles.  There are times, however, when she is fed/rested/entertained and just more at ease in a situation, and that's when the sweetness and the smiles are shared freely.  These smiles aren't the goofy forced smiles that we capture so frequently when she says, "Cheese!" as the camera comes out.  There's something more genuine, more warm, more open about the smile I'm talking about, which I see in the picture below (taken after swimming in our back yard).  I think the difference is really subtle so maybe you'll all think I'm nuts, but when I see that smile, I know there's no tantrum in our near future.  It's really, really nice.


I see the same kind of smile in this shot taken in Half Moon Bay.   I wasn't there so I don't know the circumstances (other than she was playing with Ilke and Lulu), but the smile is pure and relaxed and natural.  While I think this sort of smile is what we get out of Ella on a daily basis, Sophia only doles out these real gems on occasion.


The last picture I'll share is another recent photo from the Half Moon Bay trip (taken by babaanne).  I like it because of all the different ways you might interpret the expression on Sophia's face... there's complexity.  I wasn't there when it was taken, so I honestly have no information about the context and no idea what her expression might have been a reaction to.  What I do know is that this look is devilish yet sweet, and it says, "Hey, there's more to me than meets the eye!"  It's like she's content to keep us guessing, which is how I feel multiple times a day when I'm with her.  The look on her face makes me feel like the possibilities are endless... like *SOPHIA* already feels like her possibilities are endless.  That's a comforting thought for me for some reason.


I think maybe the lesson to be had here is that this exercise is more about me than her.  Perhaps the difficulties I've been having lately (in my role as the parent of a toddler) is more about me and my reactions than it is about her and her behavior.  Although I know that it is our job to set up the rules and incentives, enforce them, and just try to love her as she figures things out, I also know that the only thing *I* actually have total control over is myself... my responses and emotions and actions.  For those who have known me longest, you probably know that this - the notion of accepting that all I can really control is the way in which I respond to the things that happen around me - is something I've struggled with many times.  Guess I'm still working on it.  Thanks, Sophia, for giving me another opportunity to work on something I thought I had all figured out.

Yeah, that's me... full of emotional tensions tonight.  A few sips of beer have taken the edge off, but I need to do a little purging to really make some progress.  If you look back at blog posts from when we only had one kid (or perhaps you've been reading that long), you'd notice that I periodically took the time for some introspection, or some analysis of an important decision, or at least some description of the current challenges that were giving me gray hair.  I literally don't have the time for those kinds of posts these days, but that doesn't mean that I miraculously need that sort of catharsis *less*... if anything, I need it so, so, so, so much more. 

I'm feeling so scattered tonight that I fear I might just have to ramble.  Bear with me... maybe it won't be a pile of crap when all is said and done.  But, if it is a pile of crap and it makes me feel better anyway, well, then that will have been an ok deal.

I agonized over so many choices with Sophia before she was even 1 year old... what to feed her and when, how to get her to sleep and on what schedule, when and how to introduce discipline, every possible notion of personal safety and so on.  I imagine that most first-time parents take these decisions fairly seriously because there's no manual and you don't want to end up with a mouthy kid who doesn't eat or sleep reasonably (or a broken or dead kid because you didn't childproof the house well enough).  I was fully prepared for the notion that a person relaxes a bit when it comes to all of these issues for the second kid, but I frequently feel so distracted and busy and tired that I worry about Ella totally getting screwed over (and screwed up in the process).  I worry that most of the food and sleep decisions are being (poorly) made by her teachers, and that the food and sleep decisions we do make are afterthoughts because Sophia sucks up so much of our attention and energy.  Personal safety issues are probably better than I make them out to be in my head (because we do have more experience this time around), but I fished part of an acorn out of her mouth the other day (which she picked up off the floor after it got brought in on somebody's shoe, I guess) and it forced me to recall how I would vacuum our floor daily to avoid such things with Sophia.  This time around, I'm lucky if it gets done every week.  And that's really the tip of the ice berg.  There are so many small pieces from Sophia's toys to keep track of... there's just no way to control it all.  I try to comfort myself with the notion that Ella might benefit from not being as micro-managed as Sophia was, but that's small consolation on days like today when I'm feeling like a failure.

I will remember this summer as the Summer of Sophia Battles or perhaps the Summer of Sophia's Independence.  I know that many of you had first row seats to some of these battles for independence during our summer travels.  Perhaps I should list the things that she is currently fighting us over? 

1.  Her nightly bath.  In general, kids wouldn't need to bathe daily probably, but we have to apply a ton of sunscreen every day in super sunny California, and so I just don't view a bath as optional.  She's also prone to diaper rash and a little water and air each day is the best prevention.

2.  Doot-doots.  Sophia's famous pig-tails are a thing of the past.  She will accept no doot-doots, or barrettes, or head bands, or anything that would get her hair out of her face.  This is another reason why I insist on a nightly bath to wash hair... otherwise it would just hang there in all its nastiness.  This style makes it easy for Ella to always find something to grab onto, which always adds some additional controversy/tears.  I suppose I should either get it cut or stop caring.  So far, can't bring myself to do either.

3.  Food.  Yes, all you naysayers who predicted that our wonderful eater would eventually cease to be so wonderful, you are finally right... congratulations!  In the past few days, most vegetables (and many other things that historically have been favorites) have been shunned.  Even if she eats a few bites, it's always after saying "NO!" vehemently.  It seems like no matter what we pack in her lunch, most of it comes back untouched... pb&j, fruit, you name it.

4.  Morning ritual... which part varies with the day.  Some days, she doesn't want a diaper change; other days, she doesn't want clothes; still other days, there's disagreement over which shoes or whether to brush teeth or about going to school at all.  Honestly, there's no way to predict which feature of the morning routine will be tested on any given day.  Not a nice thing to do to a person before they've had their cup of coffee.

5.  Potty training.  There's really no fight here because we're still not actively working on it.  Please don't talk to me about how she's nearly two-and-a-half-years-old and should be trained a long time ago or you risk me hating you for a few years (or decades).  Sophia is completely uninterested most days, vehemently opposed other days, and her teachers are completely unconcerned.  We offer, she declines.  End of story.  I only bring this up so that you all know not to.  :)  She did pee on the floor the other night after sobbing through the end of her bath, but I don't think that counts as progress.

6.  Attitude.  We count, we do time-outs, we're not a discipline-free household at all.  We ask Sophia to say "No thank you" instead of just "No", we require the use of please (in both English and Turkish, as appropriate) and are working on "thank you", we encourage sharing with Ella and general helpfulness.  For as often as she does everything right, she also seems to expend plenty of effort finding out what happens if she doesn't follow these basic rules.  The result is not pretty.  Her learning curve appears to be quite vertical.  What *we've* learned is that the girl sure does know how to throw a tantrum.  Thankfully, she is very good about behaving nicely outside of the house, so it's really only us and the neighbor on the bedroom side of the house who know the real truth about her tantrum capabilities.  I'd like to promise that I won't try to tape her mouth closed during some future tantrum, but I can't.  The screaming and hysterics make me see red like only really horrifically bad traffic can usually do.  I know of no solution except continually reminding myself that it is wrong and illegal to beat her.  :)

I think most of you know me well enough to know that I read a lot.  When I want to understand something, I hit the books (or the internet in this day and age).  I've read books on nutrition, sleeping, hygiene, discipline, and will be spending some time on potty training shortly.  Additionally, we're economists.  We understand that people respond to incentives and so we set up the rules so that we get the incentives right.  I don't think we're idiotic about dealing with these challenges from a pure parenting stand point.  I mean, I'm sure that we've made (and will make) our fair share of missteps, but I don't think we're Nanny 911 material, you know?  But here's the rub... that doesn't really help me all that much at the end of the day.  At the end of a long day, I feel like I've done a pretty decent job of things on paper, but I still have had fleeting thoughts throughout the day that I'm a total parenting failure.  I feel like I should have better control of my kids.  I feel like I should have more patience with my kids.  I feel like I should see steady (linear) progress with my kids... not just their behavior/eating/sleeping, but in the way that we all interact.  Too many days leave me feeling like that's not happening.  And so I drink a beer and try to devise a plan for feeling better about things tomorrow.

Lulu and Ilke posted pictures of Sophia and Ella on their blog today.  These are taken with their super, amazing camera, but clearly Lulu also just has an amazing eye (I think a few were taken by Ilke, so I won't give her quite all of the credit).  On a day where I was missing my sweet children (when's the last time you heard me say *that* on a Monday!?), seeing these pictures made my heart hurt and now I am counting down the minutes until I can give them a squeeze.  Of course, I'll probably be drinking wine by 6 and praying for bedtimes shortly thereafter, but right now they are immortalized in beautiful pictures in my mind.  Check it out:  http://roamingpixel.blogspot.com/2009/07/httplh6.html.  Makes a person want to give up the little point-and-shoot camera for something more adult.

There.  Now that I've gotten mostly caught up on sharing photos and stories of all of our late-June / early-July adventures, I can spend a bit of time reflecting and saying all the things I wish I could have found the time and energy and thoughtfulness to say when we saw so many of you in person.  Traveling with two little ones is overwhelming.  No surprise there.  The actual travel days that involve planes with no changing tables and canceled flights with many extra hours in airports and airport buses and rental cars with strange carseats are obviously stressful, but it's also stressful on the non-travel days because of different sleeping and eating arrangements, new faces, and changes to the normal rules.  These boring facets of daily life are the glue that hold kids together in my humble opinion... kids count on certain things being constant so that they can venture off into the unknown just a little bit before coming back to what's familiar.  That sense of familiarity and "groundedness" is hard to maintain on the road and, as a result, we all sort of feel out-of-whack.  We all handle it a bit differently... I get bitchy, Sophia gets whiny, Ella gets clingy, and Esen gets ______.  I'll let him fill in the blank.  He's the best and most frequent traveler by nature and upbringing, so maybe he doesn't "get" anything and is just forced to cope with the rest of us when we're not at our best!

In any event, if you feel like we were bitchy, whiny, clingy, and/or _____, please try to scrape up some empathy.  I know that none of you, when you had small children, did the amount and variety of traveling that we attempt.  That's simply my way of asking you to kindly take a moment to truly imagine what it's like to take this show on the road in the way that we do.  Although I can always be heard muttering, "...mmmm... never traveling again... stupid kids... stupid planes... stupid traffic... grrrrr.... never again", I don't really mean this and am always more or less happy that we make the effort to travel with them because of the wonderful people and places that this enables us to see.

Requests for empathy aside, I wanted to write this post as a very heart-felt note of thanks to all who help make these trips possible and enjoyable and to all of you who are so kind to us all year long.  We are so lucky to have wonderful people in our lives who care enough about our kids to meet us half-way, or in many cases, come all the way to us.  We are extremely fortunate that you all are so generous in so many ways.  In a previous life, all of the wonderful gifts that you bestow upon our children (and us!) would be followed-up with proper thank you notes because your generosity is immense and is so appreciated.  Most importantly, so many of you give freely of your time and energy (which is the real expense in raising young kids, I think!).  It is always nice to have extra hands to hold Ella and extra energy to entertain Sophia.  Sophia's "requests" sometimes border on demands befitting the Queen of England, yet you all still enjoy her and find ways of making us feel like we're raising a wonderful little girl.  I'm always amazed by how many people are willing to rearrange their plans and homes and lives to accommodate our craziness.  I know that I am often too frazzled (from lack of sleep usually or a fight about bath time) to act as gracious as I feel, so please accept my gratitude after the fact.

We don't currently have any more family travel plans in our future.  This gives me comfort because we've got some big tasks on our plates in the months ahead.  We're hopeful that the doctors tell us that we can be a little more demanding of Ella with regard to sleeping, Sophia will be working on potty training, and Esen and I both have big plans for our research productivity.  Perhaps our new house will finally also get some much-deserved attention... nah, that's probably still going to wait until 2010!  All of these things require being home and in a routine for a while, so that's just what's on our agenda.  We certainly hope that we'll see some of you for visits at our house this fall and please know that we always hope to reciprocate eventually and show up on your door step with our brood (minus Suzy, who hasn't left Sacramento in ages!).  Next summer, Sophia will be 3.5 and Ella will be nearly 2.  While that's certainly going to be easier in many ways, don't kid yourself that it'll suddenly be a walk in the park.  There are several trips already in the negotiation stage for next summer and we continue to be optimistic that we'll be able to successfully navigate the globe with little ones.  Thanks everyone for sticking with us during these crazy years.  You'll have to remind me of how it all was about 5 years from now, because I'm quite sure that I will have blocked it all out of my memory along with the pain of childbirth!

Just a few days after we got back from ND, Esen and Sophia hit the road again.  This time it was for an Onur family gathering.  They came from far and wide... NY, Turkiye, and Australia... and they all came to Half Moon Bay, California!  Everyone stayed in a big house together and much fun was enjoyed, or so they tell me!  Ella and I stayed in Sacramento for most of the week so that I could get some much-needed time at work, but they we joined them for a long weekend.  Most of the pictures are from others' cameras, but here are the highlights:
(To do a better job of describing each picture, I turn the blog to Esen... be very scared!)

This is babaanne and her favorite granddaughter's gangsta pose... somehow my 2.5 year old looks like a better gangsta than my ma.

This one is hard to describe.  There were many cameras around and I don't know who took it but if Sophia wants to be an actress, I bet her head shot would be something like this one.

Here, clearly I am telling her something she doesn't enjoy.  I had to keep on being a parent while everyone else was trying to spoil her (and yes, it happens everywhere... even in ND.)

Onur bro's working the bbq.  Even though I might look like I am not doing much, I was the brains behind the operation.  I found out that I had much more grilling experience than both of my brothers.  I guess this is because they live in real cities and I don't.

I don't know what Sophia is feeding her babaanne but we are at Duarte's tavern.  Here is a link to it: http://www.duartestavern.com.  This place was founded in 1894 and they had quite some time to perfect their recipes. It was kind of in the middle of nowhere but everyone loved their food.  I was surprised to find a starter of deep-fried smelt... because they prepared them just like back at home.  The whole fish deep-fried, with head, tails and everything.  Even Sophia ate a whole one (I don't know if Jess would dare to try it if she were there).   

I think my mom had calamari and I had some shrimp and avocado dish.  Ilke and my dad had Crab Cioppino which required them to wear bibs.  All was tasty!

If you haven't figured it out yet, Sophia works hard to keep her no.1 spot as the favorite grandchild.  How can Ella and Maya compete with this, c'mon??!!!

She also enjoyed spending time with Lulu teyze since they communicated in English.  Sophia's English is better than her Turkish so I am sure she enjoyed the opportunity to bask in the safe waters of her dominant language.  Regardless, she did very well and communicated perfectly in Turkish as well.

July 1st was Ilke and Lulu's wedding anniversary, so we all dressed up.  We had originally planned to go out but it got too late and Sophia's bedtime prevented us from actually leaving the house.  So, we had our own celebration in the backyard.  Here is a picture of the Onur boys.

Dut-duts... normally I don't insist on them as much as Jess does so Sophia got away without dut-duts most of the time.  But the day we all got dressed up, Sophia also wore the very cute dress her babaanne (and Kaan amce) got for her.  She had to have dut-duts with that dress.  I tried first, she didn't like it.  Babaanne tried her luck, but not good enough.  Finally, we got lucky and Lulu was able to give her dut-duts she could live with.  I can't imagine what would have happened if we all had failed...the world would have to come to an end I guess.

Here is the final product.

Somebody wanted to walk like a penguin and asked babaanne to do it as well.  Don't ask me why penguins should walk with their legs spread open, especially when they have such short legs.  Sophia doesn't fall this way and that's all we care about. 

Another picture.. (too) many were taken! Can you spot the 2% milk among many glasses of Dom Perignon... :)

One of the days we decided to take a day-trip to Monterey, especially because of the aquarium we wanted to take Sophia to.  This is a picture from the lunch before the aquarium.  Sophia was allegedly flirting with a boy in that restaurant but I will not comment on that...

A cute looking Sophia but there is also something devilish about that look... something only a parent can catch.

Boy, good thing it is just her reflection in the mirror.  I almost had a heart attack there for a second thinking we might have two of her!

Only Tiger could look cooler with a golf club in his hands!  The backyard of the house we rented was half-patio and half putting green.

Kaan amca and dede enjoying the fire while sipping wine and waiting on dinner.

Sally teyze, Andrew amca, Sophia and Ella picnicing on the putting green, life doesn't get better than this!

Even though we went to the beach a few times, Sophia's sand-avoidance is still going on.  That meant no walking on the sand for her, which resulted in her saying "baba yukari", or "baba up" in English.  The worst part was carrying extra 30 pounds up and down the stairs that led to that beach.

And once anne and Ella were in town, we went out for a family walk by the ocean.  It was a nice, short walk so we didn't get to go to the beach.  Here is a pose above the cliffs right by the ocean, though.


Where will our Onur travels take us next year?  Hmmmm....

I had this entire LONG post ready to go and it somehow disappeared.  Seriously... I am jinxed in the technology department this week!  Grrr...

OK, well I'm sorry, but now you get the short crappy version of events because I just can't bring myself to replicate the original.  It was wonderful though... just keep that in mind as you read the crappy version below... my original was fabulous and detailed and funny and perfect!

1.  Flight to ND:  Uneventful mostly.  Turbulence in and out of Denver made me want to scream, "Lawd!  We're going down!!" but I held back and we all survived.

2.  First part of the trip was at my grandparents' house.  They were really excited that we brought the girls back to ND since they wouldn't see them any other way.  For folks in their 90s, they sure still got down on the floor to play!


3.  Baptism:  While we were back, we decided to baptize Ella in my family church just like we did with Sophia.  Ella was cutting teeth and getting a cold, so she was a bit cranky (and mostly just tired), so that made for an interesting day.  Here are a few highlights:

The Godparents were my Uncle Jerry (my mom's brother) and my two sisters, Sally and Katie.  They performed admirably, but that's not saying much since I tried not to force cranky, tired, crying Ella into their arms too much during the ceremony.

There are more pictures of the baptism from Ione's camera at
http://www.kodakgallery.com/BrowsePhotos.jsp?&collid=310670079106.629720986406.1247115868833&page=1.

We enjoyed a nice luncheon over at my cousin's house afterward and that was my one chance to catch up with aunts and uncles (and even a long lost cousin who came all the way from Minneapolis).  I'm so grateful that I get the opportunity to see all these folks (especially in one place) when I go back because it always reminds me of my childhood when we were all together.  Here are my girls playing with my cousin Jenny's girls:

Kids love kids and this was no exception!!  Sophia had a blast with Rachel and Grace!

4.  The middle portion of the trip was spent up in Minot with the Sautner clan.  It was at this point in the trip that my camera mysteriously vanished into the couch cushions, so I have almost no pictures!  Ione took plenty to make up for it, so I'll provide you with links to her photos:
(a) http://www.kodakgallery.com/BrowsePhotos.jsp?&collid=310670079106.529720986406.1247116245358&page=1
(b) http://www.kodakgallery.com/BrowsePhotos.jsp?&collid=310670079106.139720986406.1247116245359&page=1
(c) http://www.kodakgallery.com/BrowsePhotos.jsp?&collid=310670079106.829720986406.1247116245359&page=1
(d) http://www.kodakgallery.com/BrowsePhotos.jsp?&collid=310670079106.929720986406.1247116351719&page=1
(e) http://www.kodakgallery.com/BrowsePhotos.jsp?&collid=310670079106.729720986406.1247116351719&page=1
Here are a few cute ones...
This ballerina costume made Esen go for another beer, but I thought it was adorable (and so did Sophia).

Ella fell asleep on me at the zoo and made a slightly warm day more than slightly warm for me.

Sophia is quite a little copycat these days and had to sit just like grandpa while playing with Legos.

She was more brave about this lion than the real ones!

Making antlers in front of the elk (or moose?) with Auntie Sally.

The girls minus one.

Nobody told Ella not to feed the wild animals.  :)

I'm starting to have a better idea about where Ella gets her fuzzy hair from...


5. Back down to my grandparents' house to spend time with Grandma and Grandpa Griffith for the last few days of the trip.  Again, my camera was missing at this point, so I have absolutely no pictures from these days.  There are a few pictures from my mom's camera of the events, but mostly there was a lot of running around in the basement (which is primarily a big, mostly empty carpeted room that is perfect for Sophia's insanity), some bubble blowing outside, and some reading (yes, that's Esen wearing my Mickey Mouse ears against his will as he reads in Turkish):



There are a few pictures taken with my cell phone that captured some of the most heart-warming moments of the trip for me... my mom, grandma, Sophia, and I sitting on my grandparents' front steps (where I sat countless times as a child)... just talking, singing songs together, being silly.  It was so sweet (until the mosquitoes came out and ruined our fun, that is).

Many renditions of ABCs, Baa-Baa Black Sheep, and several others were sung.  Too bad we don't have a video... Sophia has never been sweeter.

6.  The trip back to CA was slightly less uneventful than the trip to ND.  Oh, it started out OK... returned our SUV rental with car seats (yes, we were briefly an SUV family and, while it was wonderful and spacious, I still don't think we'll make the switch anytime soon).  Flight into Denver was fine and I thought we were headed for a blissful afternoon until I saw "canceled" next to our Sacramento flight.  Although we made it home that night (around midnight CA-time), the extra 6+ hours in the Denver airport were slightly challenging.  Poor Sophia took her nap on the airport floor (long after she was tired enough to collapse):

Esen got stuck in a hellish line with a crying Ella while I watched Sophia sleep.  Although we could text each other, there was no way to get Ella back into my arms (for a much-needed fresh diaper and dose of milk) without losing his place in line or waking up Sophia.  As per usual, Ella got the short end of the stick and stayed in line with a wet diaper and an empty stomach.  Ah, the life of a second child...

OK, I'm posting this and going to bed.  Perhaps my technological luck will improve with the next post.